Thanksgiven

i was awakened thanksgiving morning to a call from my brother-law to look in the trunk of the car. after an early morning hunting trip between him and my father, what would one expect to find in the trunk of a honda accord? a deer. and what good is a freshly killed deer just sitting in the trunk of a honda accord? no good. and what y-chromosome call to order did i fulfill in order to rectify the situation? i helped hoist the carcass up from my childhood basketball goal for the following skinning and gutting, of course.

let's all backtrack and note that my immediate family is far removed from white trash, especially when compared to the whole of east texas. we only have garage sales every other year and have never owned a truck (as can be proved by the hunting vehicle of choice). my father even has this running joke about how my uncles have spent the entirety of thanksgivings past telling deer stories. and there he was pouring intestines into an old tin washtub where i used to practice my lay-ups. they shoved a freakin deer into a midsize sedan. this is a deer story that will live on through my children's children, forever stained crimson red into my concrete surfaced memory.

then i return to san antone to find a gaggle of flies having their own thanksgiving get together on every previously sanitized surface in my apartment. i did my best billy crystal impression to round them up out the door through an intricate series of desk lamp light lochs that lead out the door to the front porch/pacific ocean/colorado plains. pick your metaphor.

if having your apartment infested with flies is cool, consider me miles davis.

her name was nita

over the years i've managed to become selfless, cold, and composed in the face of women. one dare not let down one's defenses when females make the advance, or else one might fall for them and we all know how long a drop that is.

that being said, today i got a manicure. i'd run to the rivercenter mall during lunch to buy enough socks to get me to thanksgiving at home, where a cornucopia of whites would be bleached back to their rightful aryan superiority...so yeah, i was at the mall. and i was headed back when the most beautiful "excuse me, sir" did cross my ears. she was about 5'7", no older than me, dressed in a slim black sweater and knee length black skirt, with a matching head of jet black hair hanging around a porcelain white face which were in turn pierced by deep brown eyes and traces of freckles upon further inspection. i can qualify such inspections cause the next thing i knew this girl had grabbed my right hand and pulled me in (literally and figuratively) to a closeness i hadn't experienced in a while. she was working a nail care mall kiosk.

the next moments played out with me being pulled further and further in, as she dug deeper and deeper into my cuticles with a nail buffer. she'd bat her eyes, i'd blink, and next thing i knew i was saying "my thumbnail has never looked nicer." it was even better with the side-by-side comparison where she held both my hands together, close to my chest, close to her. i managed to say that it really wasn't my kind of product but maybe something more for my mom, which gave her an in into the need for caring for all things female. did i mention she had a gorgeous eastern european accent? she WAS offering me half price off $50 for today only, but i thought of the fantastic lie that i could only afford $10 for mom. and then things got grim as she lowered her voice and put her delicate finger to her now noticeably red lips, saying "shhhh, i can offer you a deal but you have to promise not to tell anyone..."

and that's when the old brain jumped in and told every other part of my body that this was my last chance to bail. "i really have to get back to work. i'm sorry." i hope i let her down gently enough. the look on her face as i backed away either said "i'll never again meet a man like that" or "damn, i almost made that sale."

and that's how i roll. i can block off any innate male tendencies to love and propagate when actually given the opportunity. everything in me said buy the nail buffer and sweep her off her feet, but i didn't. i live on the line between gentleman and loner. there's a chance i could go back there tomorrow, but it wouldn't be the same. when the moment is passed, it's passed. she'll find other impressionable young men with disposable incomes, and i'll at least for the next few days have my shiny and slightly bleeding thumbnail.

the night it got real cold

i would run out and do it all in a second if the clock stopped ticking.

oh, i'm one of thooose people

that's it. i'm here. i'm writing from the ivory tower. fight it i did, but i've now inducted myself into the culturally elite as a result of my actions. tonight i spent a hundred dollars on a week's worth of central market groceries.

it's not that i need goat cheese, but it's a nice alternative to a prepackaged processed cheese appetizer. i mean, what else am i supposed to garnish fresh baked ciabatta with? sun dried tomatoes and freshly minced basil alone aren't gonna cut it.

no, it doesn't stop at being a snobbish grocery whore. i buy those fancy five dollar greetings cards, ride my bike to work, and listen to college radio. what the hell? is free form jazz good? how would i know. aren't you just supposed to listen to it so as to feel special in a town that loves pro wrestling and hummers. that's why i like san antonio. in seattle, i'd have been guaranteed all the drum circles and and organic coffee a little boy could ever hope for, but here being bohemian is a bit harder. and this is coming from someone of actual bohemian blood. it's my destiny to wear tight jeans.

and that brings us to arrested development. a show so witty and subtle that we knew it couldn't last. it happened. they're taking it away from us as punishment for all the obscure literary references we tried passing over the heads of the masses for years. before they take our wes anderson box sets, we must run further underground my blogging brethren and warm ourselves only by the heat of a mocha latte and feed off the proverbial loaf of ciabatta. we will transmit communications via npr. godspeed.

noviembre

is always my favorite month. or at least top five. good movies come out, texas settles into being cold, and the word wreath reenters our collective lexicon. i know i'm wearing shorts and t shirt right now with the windows open, but pretend with me and tend to the yard with my imaginary rake.

further checking off my list of unique things to do in san antonio, this week i bought an old whiskey bottle from the o'neil ford estate, drank shiner as i watched willy nelson sing under the hill country stars, and did the first friday art walk which ends in an argyle sea of 16 year old hipsters with crooked haircuts. all along the way i learned about the incapability of social awkwardness and how it's the one thing that ties us all together as a twenty something populace.

now with the moving out of another semi house mate this week, casa myrtle is feelin extra empty. an emptiness that can only be filled with the sweet smell of brownies and hot wassle. come a wassle with me.

the day of deadline

at one point during the summer i had heard november 1st would be the grand ending deadline to it all. beach club detailed to a T and on to bigger and better things. like new york. i spent one night in july requesting tickets to anything entertaining that was recording live during that first week of november. i was gonna go to the big city, wear autumn clothes, and see some of them movie stars.

i slowly learned that thanksgiving would be the new deadline and anytime between then and then would have to be dedicated to work. ok, fine. i want to see this thing to the end and an extended thanksgiving holiday that includes seeing friends in ny, ny sounds great.

christmas. it'll go til then now and and hopes of visiting people when there are still people to see are pretty much gone. i'll still be working here in san antonio as those around the country head back home to texas. i'm loving my job here but I hate i haven't really gotten to get away from SA that much. one day i'm just gonna jump in my car and fly away. just you wait.

and damnit, i've got a bowl full of candy kids. why won't you come and eat my candy?